You get what you allow

What are your personal standards? Do you uphold them?

Do your short-term interactions align with your long-term ideals?

Do you find yourself dating individuals who treat you poorly? Are you desperately unable to find the spouse your heart desires? You allow that. Do you have a two-hour commute and a job you hate? You allowed that too. Are you underpaid? You’ve allowed even that.

I overheard two of my coworkers having the following conversation:

“My friend just got an offer for $100,000 starting salary.”

“$100,000?! Jeez… I’d better make that some day.”

That statement jarred me.

The whole tone seemed askew.

Nobody is going to hand you $100,000 just because you kinda sorta think you’d “better" get it. "Some day."

I expect $100,000. It’s a standard. Not only that, but I have a timeline for salary milestones, and I take steps to achieve upward movement. I also take steps to ensure that I’m competitive as a candidate – I build up my market value as an employee – and I’ve targeted industries that are willing to interact on that level. I have principles– the value I think I’m worth in my career – and I’m prepared to defend them. It’s not some far-off, dreamy notion of “I’d better” achieve them. I hold them as a concrete expectation.

You should be too.  

You’d “better” make $100,000? No.

What steps have you taken to secure that? If you think you deserve it, say it with resolution. Work towards it methodically, and don’t settle. You think you deserve better? Treat it like it’s non-negotiable, and others will too.

You want a husband? Stop dating guys who operate as though they're still in high school.

You want respect? Then you should stop operating like you are still in high school.

You want a million dollars? Stop blowing through every paycheck.

If you don’t uphold and safeguard your value – if you fail to defend your standards – then how can you expect others to? Don’t get lethargic about the things you want, and don't talk about them as though they're not absolute.